Apartment Oddities

I had thought that sharing a two-bedroom apartment with three other guys would get a bit cramped, but there turned out to be some interesting ways to optimize space. Upon seeing the walk-in closets, Jim said, "Hey, I could just fit a matress in there!" and proceeded to sleep in the closet for the rest of the summer.

Jim didn't seem to have any kind of claustrophobia; one time as we settled in for a movie, he wedged himself under the coffee table, prompting one of the girls to remark, "You really like tight spaces, don't you?", which was followed by a "Who doesn't?!" and guffaws of laughter. We also had some trouble with the clock, after it became a practice target for frisbee and had a close encounter with a hammer. Sam taped it back together to read 10:25, causing people to look at the clock in the wee hours of the morning and remark, "Wow, it's only 10:25!"

BBQ's

Summer means that you just have to have some barbeques, no matter what lengths you must go to. While none of them could compare to the legendary Phat Pad BBQ's, they were entertaining in their own rights. The most memorable was one up at Gretchen's place in Berkeley, which gets off innocently enough as we fire up the full-size Webber using the tried-and-true method of making a cone, dousing with lighter fluid, and lighting.

Shortly after it gets going, this guy comes over to the fence from next door and starts carrying on about the fumes, and it affecting his kids, how we should be using a chimney to light it, and what are we, college kids or something? It was all a very rehearsed spiel, and he re-emerged ten minutes later for round two and started in about how he's had to move his mentally challenged kids to the other side of the house and is he going to have to call the police, etc. Andy's take on the situation summed up our reaction pretty well: "Hey bub, I've never been here before, I'm just standing around, drinking a beer, grilling some burgers. The fumes aren't bothering me at all and I'm standing right next to the thing; maybe a little less LSD and your kids wouldn't be so messed up..." Her housemates concurred; this guy was just a dick.

Cans! Part 2: The Empire Strikes Back

One of the highlights of Mo 45 last semester had been Sam's collection of hanging cans. Much to our collective dismay, we returned this summer to find them gone! Ken revealed to us the insidious plot: my mentor, Mark, had ordered him to take down the cans after Sam left, citing it as looking "unprofessional".

There were some suggestions for retaliation, like waiting for Mark to go on a trip and filling his office with cans, but a more moderate line was taken by hanging a single can above Sam's desk in memorial. As for all our other cans, they formed a nice pyramid in the corner of our kitchen.

Stone Cold Returns

Monday nights in California quickly fell into a regular pattern: round up a big crew for Ultimate frisbee, play till dark, then watch wrestling and drink beer (the latter being a vital element). As always, the WWF came up with some outrageous storylines, like Stone Cold Steve Austin being named CEO and running amuck at WWF headquaters. Among other changes, he made the secretary answer the phone, "Who the hell is this? What the hell do you want?", passed out Natty Light at the board meeting for a drinking contest, and filled president Jim McMahon's office with manure.

Captain Shaft

One of the after-hours pursuits taken up by several of us was learning to scuba dive. For the most part, everyone had a great time and no problems with the dive shop. Except for Ken, who Captain Shaft (aka Captain Aqua) always seemed to be out to get. Some highlights: being told not to up his weight so "he'd seem tough or something", finding out it would cost $100 to replace a weight belt he'd lost on a dive and almost hanging up on them, and being asked about his bouyancy after getting a faulty BC ("well, it was kinda tough to tell, since everytime I tried to put in air, it all leaked out...").

After getting shafted on the weight belt deal and taking all kinds of other flak, Ken decided he would get revenge and his money's worth by giving the dive shop people a hard time. One time, we went in to pick up gear, and he had them pull out all these dive knives, carrying on the whole time about how he needs a big knife so he can carve up all the wildlife they showed in class, stab his partner when he's not paying attention, and for roaming around Oakland late at night. The final blow came when he returned the gear and he had all this damp, sandy stuff crammed into their mesh bag along with the weight belt, which they really loved.

Godzilla vs. The BCJ Model

The BCJ model is this set of mechanics formulas for predicting the behavior of metals that we use a lot in our simulations. It was developed by three guys at Sandia, including our dive instructor, Doug. So you can imagine how odd it was when I picked up Ken one of the mornings we drove down to Monterey to do our ocean dives and he tells me that he had this dream where he was using the BCJ model to fight Godzilla.

It was one of those things that was hilarious because it was so random. And apparently, there were a few other people from the department there, helping out deriving formulas and running simulations. Then at dinner that night, Doug is sitting with a bunch of the grad students that were taking the class, and they're talking about mechanics, scribbling formulas on the paper-covered table with crayons. Hopefully Ken picked up some new stuff that'll help him out the next time he falls asleep after too many hours at work.

Napa

Being only a few hours from the famed California wine country of Napa Valley, we naturally had to take at least one wine-tasting trip. We started out with two cars, and within five blocks, had lost each other on the way to the bagel shop. Realizing we had ened up at different bagel shops, it was time to hit the road and catch up at the BART station where some other people were supposed to meet up with us. A few miles down the freeway, there's a car pulled over to the side with a flat tire, and it's none other than the other half of the group.

Now that we're reunited, we can pool the collective talent of seven budding scientists and engineers to put on the spare. Leaving that car in a McDonald's parking lot, we cram in and press on to the BART station, where the rest of the crew is nowhere to be found. Turns out they've decided to bail, so it's on to Napa. No one's really researched where in Napa our desitination actually is, so we follow assorted signs until we start to see grapes. The mood was really set at the first place, when Andy slams back the first tasting and goes, "So, do we look like a bunch of college kids out to get drunk, or what?" After a couple of wineries, the morning's mishaps are long forgotten, and the day closed with a picnic lunch.

Quotes

  • "Well, it was better than a sharp stick in the eye..."
  • "Look at these two guys- Drillpress and Bandsaw."
  • "Well, you're 22 and if you convert that into binary..."
  • "We've got a collective IQ of about three right now."
  • "It's time for you to take your friend home."
  • "The Hanging Brain? Let me demonstrate..."
  • "I'm up to seven rooms now..."
  • "What's my age again?"
  • "That's just too bad..."