Matthew Botos

I closed last year’s blog about turning 28 with this: “Hopefully at 29 I�ll be able to say my wisdom has climbed another minute notch.” That prophecy has been fulfilled; in the last year I’ve gained a better grasp on the realities of my life and the wisdom that comes with that. As always, it seems that everything big in my life these days comes down to dating and work.

In dating, I’ve always tried to be open-minded and flexible, but I’ve finally admitted that I do have a type. And while there’s certainly a list of specifications for that type, logic ultimately takes a back seat to chemistry. As Merle wonderfully put it, “Just because someone looks good on paper doesn’t mean you’re going to fall in love with them.” An interesting corollary I learned this year, having previously not been one to hit it off from the first date, is that initial chemistry doesn’t guarantee long-term compatibility. As I continue to date, I at least have a better idea of what works for me and how to read the real signs that something is working.

Meanwhile, as I approach seven years with the same company, I wonder how I’ve managed to weather the ups and downs of a dozen various assignments and still be in a long-term relationship with a difficult corporate lover. Perhaps much as some people need drama to keep a relationship engaging, I need a bit of conflict and challenge to keep me on the ball. After all these struggles, though, I’ve come to a similar conclusion that no matter what you can put down as accomplishments on paper, careers also find their own chemistry and path.

For me, this definitely means staying on a technical path; pure management isn’t at all appealing and even technical leadership of people may be beyond my scattered pockets of people skills. Being the smartest guy in the room, or at least one with an occasional innovative idea, is much more appealing. The trick will be to find a way to do that without constantly being trapped under less competent people promoted via Putt’s Law.

Other than that, life has been pleasantly stable the last year and I’ve settled into a bit of a fiscal double-life. Having a now very-affordable & comfortable home and a paid off car has dissuaded me from upgrading either. The resulting extra income has given me a bit more freedom to enjoy the spoils of bachelor life: going all-out with HDTV gear, traveling, snowboarding & biking, casual games of poker, and dining out a bit more.

The next year is a bit foreboding; 30 is a big milestone and a bit disturbing as I find myself The Last of the Single Mohicans while my peers rapidly move on to raising kids. Perhaps in the next year my newfound wisdom will help me start towards that path myself…